wake up

i must have had some anxiety about having a new baby.

i didn't really feel it during the day,

but it would come out at night.

she is all mine.

and sometimes that can be scary.

 

for the first 3 weeks

i had night terrors.

i'm not sure if that's the right terminology,

but that's what i call them.

i had 4 or 5 of them.

 

i would wake up and think that brette was in our bed

and we were smothering her.

it literally freaked me out.

you have to understand that louie and leia are 8lb little cuddle bugs.

the lay right up next to me,

so in the middle of the night

i would wake up confused between having a baby in my arms or a dog.

 

the first one was the worst.

i grabbed poor louie,

thinking it was brette.

i was shaking and she wasn't crying.

i don't know how his hair and legs didn't register with me,

but i thought i killed my daughter.

its a sick feeling.

 

i learned with the other ones to automatically look to the basinet

first so i could reassure myself that she wasn't next to me,

but safe in her own bed.

i was still panicked, but i could understand fast that she was ok.

it also saved me from scaring my dogs to death.

i'm pretty sure i gave louie a heart attack with that first one.

 

 after a couple weeks, it stopped happening altogether and

i guess i got used to having her in our room.

 

i just wanted to share

my "new mom" experience.

the good and the bad.

 

but enough with that.

here's brette.

7 weeks old today.

 

 

 

over the river and through the woods... then she loses it

i thought i got really lucky with an amazing sleeper

and a good car rider.

but after about the second week,

brette found a certain disdain for her carseat.

sometimes she is a perfect angel.

she'll stare out the window or

she'll fall asleep.

 

but the other times,

she will lose her damn mind.

ronnie and i have definitely had to pull over

numerous times to get her out and calm her down.

and when i'm by myself, there's not much i can do,

the poor thing.

 

we have, however, find her kryptonite.

the jeep.

she's just like leia.

i think since she rides up higher,

with more sound

and more vibration,

she actually enjoys herself.

 

 

 

i would like to say that i've taken over the jeep

as my everyday car, but no.

it's not very practical for me.

so if anyone has any suggestions

on how to help with our carseat situation,

please share.

 

right now we have toys hanging,

a mirror so she can see herself,

the noise machine going

and (when i have ronnie with me) i'll ride back there with her.

 

am i missing anything?

any tricks?

 

 

a week in pictures

i have had a busy week.

i didn't even know those were possible

when you take a 40 hour work week out of the equation,

but its true.

tuesday i spent at brian and jaime's because

my mom was watching their girls.

i left the house at 10 and got home at 7. 

 

on wednesday, ronnie's sister and her two kids came to visit,

then my mom came up to sit with brette in the waiting room

while i had my 6 week check-up.

my doctor got called in to emergency surgery so i was bumped to next week.

instead, we went out for lunch and shopping.

my long lost friend from high school came back into town,

so on thursday we spent the day at her pool

meeting each others daughters.

brette passed out while i was changing her diaper.

 

and finally on friday, i had most of my girlfriends

and their kids over for a playdate.

 



so i really was too busy to blog,

but busy doing really fun things,

so please forgive me.

i'm back on the couch this week and ready to share.

and another

i added my latest picture and
thought this little project was finished,

but now i'm thinking it would be super cute

to have brette sit on my lap on her first birthday

and add one more photo to this collage.

... finally get her smile into the mix.

super cute idea, right?

[mickie, remind me...again :)]

 

october 2012, june 2013, july 2013

 

 

down the rabbit hole

these pictures are two weeks old.

sorry, for not getting them up sooner.

i want to try again when i can get her smile.

but we had to have the classic photoshoot of baby wrapped in her snuggly towel.

aww, baby rabbit. bunny brette.

 

 

 

do you see redness under her eyes?

those are pimples.

yes, brette got a case of baby acne.

wah wah

but i'd rather her have it for 3 or 4 weeks now

than 3 or 4 years when she's a teenager.

[i'm hoping for her sake it will work out like that]

it started on her cheeks and moved down to her chin,

but i think it's already clearing up after

i finally talked ronnie out of putting lotion on it.

i don't know why he thought that would help.

here's pictures of her from today:

 

 

her face has mostly cleared up.
and yes, those are the same pajamas she wore in the hospital.
my peanut is still pretty little.


happy friday!

its always boobie time

after 5 weeks
i feel like i can have an opinion on breastfeeding.
i plan on doing this until next spring so
things might change and i might have to update this again,
but for right now,
this is how it goes.


breastfeeding is a huge commitment.

huge.

i love it
and i hate it.

i love the time with her.
(haha - no one can take her from me for at least 35 mins at a time. she's all mine.)

i love the contact.
(i think the skin to skin time is good for both of us.)

i love the peace it gives her.
(if she's losing her mind because she's hungry, i can instantly sooth her.)

i love that its free.
(hello, no big grocery receipts yet because of formula.)

i love how fast and easy it is.
(no heating up water or washing bottles.)

i love how healthy it is for her.
(everyone knows the studies for why nursing is better for their immune system, etc.)
i love that it makes packing pretty easy.
(if i needed to leave quickly, i just need a diaper and wipes and i'm good to go.
but let's be honest.
i don't leave the house without SEVERAL other things as well.)

you can see why i love it.
but there is always a downside.

i hate that its a full-time job.
(especially at first, i felt like its all i did. and you are definitely on-call 24/7.)

i hate that it started off painful.
(it wasn't super bad but there was some cracking and bleeding and soreness. 
i think it just comes with the territory.)

i hate that i'm the only one that can do it.
(it would be nice to hand her off to ronnie if we're in the middle of dinner
 and she decides she's hungry. but no, i'm the one that eats later.)

i hate that it can be secluding.
(unless you're super comfortable whipping out your boob in front of anyone
[and some people are] you have to excuse yourself to another room for feeding time.
for me, i take my phone and catch up on facebook/twitter/blogger)

i hate that its hard to do in public.
(sometimes you don't have the option to "go to another room" so you might
even have to go sit in the back seat of your car.  that's the worst.)

i think what helped me the most was being able to do it from day one.

brette never had any latch issues or confusion.
i think this would be a totally different conversation if i had
struggled through it.  but for us,
it came relatively easy.
and it is only getting easier the more i do it.

since brette's bilirubin scores was high and getting worse once we left the hospital,

the doctors had me supplement after every feeding.

(the more she pooped, the better)

this got brette really used to nursing and taking a bottle.

i don't have to do that anymore,

but i still give brette one bottle a day right before her bedtime.
and right now she is still nursing every 2 to 3 hours a day
and then goes 6-8 hours at night.

 

also, for those of you that might one day try nursing,
here's a tip that made it 100 times better for me:

the doctor told me that babies get most of their milk in the first 5 to 10 minutes.

i did not know this, no one told me.
(hopefully that is not a well-known fact and you all think i'm retarded right now.)

so for the first week i was literally feeding brette for an hour or more.
try doing that every 2 hours.  no wonder i started hating it.

when i went to the pediatrician and i told her i felt like i spent my whole day nursing

 she told me to only do 10 to 15 minutes on each side.

this made a HUGE difference.

now, i do 15 minutes on each side,

with a 5 minute burp break. 

this gives me a lot more free time.

so there-
an update.
my thoughts.
and a little tip for future mammas.
 

strike a pose

these were taken a week apart.
apparently, ronnie and i assume a similar
position when putting brette down for a nap.
a day in the life of a newborn.

is she still a newborn when going on 5 weeks?
hmm...