a little photo, a big change

oct 22nd

i took a picture when i found out the news.

it was 7 in the morning and ronnie was sleeping.

when my three minutes were up and i became a mommy,

i got back in bed and woke ronnie up to tell him.

if you wanted a picture that was truly accurate,

i would be crying,

and ronnie would be laughing.

he also asked if i was kidding three times.

it wasn't that i was devastated to be pregnant.

it was just 

SO HUGE.

so life changing.
so scary.

it's a lot to take in.

and it's weird,

but i feel like i started

changing the things i thought i had planned for my life

just hours after finding out.

our trip to europe in june?  cancelled.

buying the farm in illinois? gone.

instead i was thinking,

 which room i would make the nursery.

what theme i would want for the first birthday.

how i was going to share the news with my family and friends.

and baby names.

in fact, by the next night, i had my baby names list

printed out and on our night stand table.

who am i?

and it's weird.

i know i keep saying that,

but while i'm disappointed in some of the things

that i have to give up.

the other stuff is just as exciting.

so very exciting.