heartbeats

nov 14th

i feel like i had my first baby experience.

i know this kid has been making me sick that last several weeks,

but today we met.
and it wasn't through a ultrasound like i thought,
they're waiting until my january appointment for that,
but still,
today was great.

ronnie and i went to the doctors office and sat around a lot.

they weighed me

and then we sat some more.

finally the doctor came in.

she asked some general questions

and had me lie back.

just like in the movies,

she moved a little monitor over my stomach

and we listened.

she couldn't find anything.

i got super nervous.

she said that it's pretty normal at 10 weeks

to not hear a heartbeat,

but to me it felt like bad news. 

like i was setting myself up for really bad news.

i have had enough pregnant friends to know,

the sooner you hear the heartbeat,

the better.

so she kept searching and searching

and we finally found our little booger.

he/she was hidden all the way over on my right side.

but you can definitely tell when you find your little one because

their heartbeat sounds like a train.

fast and furious.

i could hear my heartbeat too,

slow and steady.

the difference is crazy,

ronnie was pretty stoic,

but as soon as the doctor left the room,

he was all smiles and cheers.

i think he wanted to seem manly.

hello, you made a baby.

we get it, you're a guy.

so today was pretty fabulous.

and its killing me that i can't call my mom and tell her,

i know she'd be so happy,

but we'll wait.

i feel like the next 6 months of my life will be a waiting game.

ready. go.