(a look back)

so yester was pregnancy and infancy loss awareness day.

i went back and read some of my blog posts that i wrote

before i had announced my 2nd pregnancy - - and then,

once we lost the baby, i never posted them.

this was my first post after finding out

we were pregnant in july.

aug 6 2014

i'm pregnant! (happy)

again. (ahhh)

its my worst nighmare and

my dream come true.

i truly truly hate being pregnant.

but like every mom in the world says,

its worth it.

ronnie and i decided that we were going to

for sure have a second kiddo pretty soon

after brette was here.

i'd say we made the decision when she turned 6 months last december.

nothing like christmas to make you want more kids, i guess.  

and i knew that i wanted brette's brother or sister

to be close in age.

brian and i are only 19 months apart

and that's what i wanted for her too.
we waited a few months and then "tried" in april with no luck.

(i was secretly thankful so i could have

the vacation of my life in mexico without

turning down all the free booze.)

we skipped may and june because i didn't want a kid

in february or march.  (too many family birthdays already)

and started trying again in july for an april birthdate.

and yep, got pregnant again within the first week.

apparently, i should be thanking my lucky stars

that ronnie and i were so careful the first five years

we were married or we could have easily had kiddos

way before we were ready.

i've known for a couple weeks,

but i had my doctor's appointment yesterday to confirm.

and guess what:

my due date is march 28th. 
whaaaat?

i guess your first two weeks pregnant are before you even conceive.

i didn't realize that with brette, but yeah.

they go off the date you started your last period.

which puts me at the end of march.

i swear, i can't plan a due date for the life of me.

oh well.

late march sounds like a perfect time to welcome another
little wonder into this family.

tomorrow i'll be seven weeks.

only 33 to go.

is it over yet?

it's weird to read how nonchalant i was.
i went another 5 weeks before i lost the baby.
crazy enough, reid was conceived not even a month after that.
i'm very lucky.
not even a year later, i was holding another baby girl.
and even though i'm at home right now with two sick kids,
i couldn't be more grateful.


prayers for all the mammas still waiting on their babies.