Wednesday, November 30, 2016

sleep success

i found a secret to getting brette back to
sleeping in her bed AND staying there.
(this is when you start dancing, clapping,
drinking, giving hand shakes and high fives.)
she's literally been killing me basically since
we took her rail off her crib and gave her freedom.
it started out kind of cute and funny:
we'd put her to bed and then find her asleep,
curled up next to our door.
no big deal.
we would pick her up and take her back to bed.
then she started bringing blankets, pillows,
stuffed animals and made her home in the hallway.
we laughed.
more to carry, but we still put her back in bed every night.
pretty soon she didn't even let us tuck her in bed.
she just grabbed her stuff and headed for the hallway.
we didn't fight her on it, but we always suggested she
sleep in her own bed.
she wasn't having it.
after awhile she would wake up when we were carrying her back in
her room and start crying.
 so eventually, brette spent all night,
every night camped out in front of reid's door.
then came the knocking.
she would knock at our door and want us to lay with her.
so ronnie or i would sleep with her for 10 minutes every night.
after that came the nightly visits.
have you every had a child stand over your bed and
lightly touch you?
it. is. terrifying.
she would sneak in our room and wake me up like a ninja.
she wanted to sleep with us.
the first time she did it, i thought she was scared, so
i told her ok, but only for 5 minutes.
then it happened again the next night and the next.
sometimes she'd come in several times a night.
i finally didn't let her in the bed at all and took her straight
back to her pallet on the floor in the hallway.
she realized that if she went to ronnie's side of the bed he
would let her in AND let her stay for the rest of the night.
i woke up a few mornings to ronnie and brette cuddling and i
would be so pissed because i knew the next night would
be so much harder - - for me and brette.
not ronnie because
he sleeps through everything.
i laid down the law with mr. ronaldo and told him if he
wanted to continue to sleep in our bed then he had to stick
to his guns and not let brette sleep with us.
i threw in some cuss words and added physical threats so
he knew i wasn't kidding.
this is what happens when you don't get enough sleep.
(i'm pretty sure this is his fault somehow anyway.)
we decided something had to change so we decided to buy
brette new bed in hopes that she would get excited and
want to go back to sleeping in her room.
we got rid of the crib and bought her a daybed.
i let her pick her own sheets and blankets.
we made a big deal about it and i was hopeful.
but here was no change.
she would be so excited about the bed - - excited to play on it.
but if you asked her where she was going to sleep,
she would always say, in the hallway.
we tried a sticker chart and bribes.
she didn't give one F about stickers or
ice cream or fun outings.
she wanted in our bed and that was it.
she cried that we made her sleep in her room.
she begged to sleep in the hallway.
and instead of creeping into our room at night,
she stood at our door and yelled for me, scaring me
half to death at least three times a night.
what. the. hell.
i was so done.
i considered locking her in there and letting her
figure it out, because that sounded so much easier.
but i was worried that 1) i would scar her for life and
2) she would need to go potty and be forced to wet the bed.
[ps- brette has done so awesome without diapers at night.
we stopped using them in september and have only had
two accidents, both in the first month.]
back to what to do...
i didn't have any ideas.
i was getting up with her about every two hours.
all she wanted in life was to sleep with us.
and now that she was back in her room, i
had to actually lay with her to get her settled, unlike
the hallway where i would lay her down and leave.
it sucked so much.
i was creeping out of her room praying to god, she didn't
hear me and wake up or i'd have to start all over again.
it was ridiculous.
i was so tired.
it was like having a newborn, but one that you
want to kill because YOU ARE THREE YEARS OLD!
ok, so let me get to the good news.
one night brette was crying at our doorway before it was even 10:00.
oh lord.
i knew we were in for a long night.
ronnie and i weren't in bed yet so leia wasn't kenneled.
when i went to put brette back in bed, leia came with me.
she hopped up on brette's bed and curled up.
brette loved it.
she asked if leia could sleep with her.
um, yes.
i felt like a light bulb went off.
all she wants is to sleep with someone.
she doesn't want to be alone at night.
give her the damn dog.
of course!
that was it!
i didn't know for sure if it would work, but that night
she got up once at 1:00 to pee and then went back to bed.
no crying.
she didn't ask me to lay with her.
she just got back in bed with leia and went to sleep.
the next night, i didn't see her at all.
and since we started this she has been sleeping until
about 6am every morning with no visits to our room.
i don't care if i have to wash her sheets all the time or
bathe the dog more than i normally would.
this is so totally worth it.
sometimes after 6:00 she'll come in our room
and lay with ronnie on the weekends.
or i'll find her playing in her room when reid
and i get up at 7:00.
sometimes she wakes me up and i put cartoons
on for her downstairs.
i know 6:00 is early to get up, but
i'm not even mad because at least
she's sleeping through the night again.
so there's my recommendation:
give your kid a dog to sleep with and
hope for the best.

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