Tuesday, January 29, 2013

update: 22 weeks

i'm twenty-two weeks.

weight? last i checked i had gained 7 lbs. i'm trying not to eat like crazy and make healthy choices.  ronnie does a good job of making sure we have fruits and vegetables to snack on and i make sure we have ice cream.  hopefully, it balances out. he also bought me pickles because he heard pregnant women liked them, which i thought was hilarious and yet i find them to be a good snack.

cravings?  nothing new.  i don't freak out about really wanting something.  the things i've always liked, i still do. and the things i never really cared for, i still don't.  my biggest challenge is still soda.  i think this is the longest i've ever gone without it and i still totally miss it.

side effects? the last time i did an update was a month ago and i was bragging about not really having any side effects.  i felt good... no, i felt pretty great.  now, the tables have turned.  a week ago saturday, i started getting back pain and it literally has not stopped.  it's constant, its painful and a couple days ago it moved to my abdomen as well. it feels like a pulled one giant muscle that wraps around my body.  not cool.  i finally called the doctor office this morning because it had been 10 days and nothing was really working.  she suggested what i already do: tylenol, lots of fluids, and a heating pad. i seriously have been living with my heating pad. it goes with my everywhere.  i plug it in at work and at home. but the pain never fully goes away.  my nurse did make one more suggestion. a pregnancy belt.  i ran out as soon as i got off work and bought one. have you seen these things? they're hideous, but if it works i'll most likely be sporting mine for the next 4 months. ohhh sexy.

baby? according to my baby books, the baby will have broken the 1 pound mark by now. wahoo!  i can officially blame a pound of my weight on her.  and she is about 8 inches long - butt to brain. she also has eyebrows, eyelashes and some hair. it makes me wonder if she will come out with a lot or a little hair.  my mom still talks about how she was always the last mom to get her baby after i was born because the nurses were putting bows in my massive amounts of hair.  i'll have to ask ronnie's mom what his hair was like.

preparations? i bought some maternity clothes, my back belt and i used some coupons i got from motherhood maternity for a car seat cover, breast feeding cape and a wrap. i got them all for $30, so they might be crap, but i'm excited to get my first purchases in the mail.  besides that, i know my friends and family are working on baby showers for april, so i have a ways before i need to register.  ronnie and i are still discussing names but while on a dog walk tonight, ronnie did refer to her as brette.  score one point for me!

the best thing? i still fit into most of my dresses so my wardrobe has not suffered completely.

the worst thing?  the tube of pain i seem to be wearing.  pray that this belt thing i bought tonight works. in fact, i think i'm going to go try it on.

so there it is. 
me at 22 weeks.
seventeen weeks vs. twenty-two weeks
wanna see my amazing back belt?
just picture a weight lifting belt... it's pretty much the same.


Monday, January 28, 2013

things coming my way

this post is more for me than you.
i'm trying to wrap my brain around some of the things i know are going to happen.
1. i will be in unimaginable pain. 
that's freaking scary.
it can't last forever,
and i'm hoping my inexperience and excitement will get me through.
2. my daughter's favorite color will probably be pink.
it was my favorite color.
most little girls love it.
and since i put it out in the universe that it's not my favorite,
she will most definitely find a passion for it.
after all, what kind of daughter would she be if she didn't go against her mom?
it's what we do best.
3. she might not like her name.
i don't know anyone that really l.o.v.e.s. their name,
and here i am trying to figure out the perfect pairing.
in 15 years she will most likely ask me what i was thinking,
so really, i should take my dad's advice,
name her ethel
and call it a day.
4. i am going to be a mom.
ronnie is going to be a dad.
yes, these guys.
please remember this picture when i do something you question.
i am just trying to figure this out as i go.
it will not be pretty or perfect.
but i hope its fun.
5. i am going to constantly wonder if i'm doing things right.
though, i also have this amazing sense of calm about raising a child.
i know in the end, no matter what...
if i hold her too much
use formula instead of breast milk
use the occasional curse word or turn into linda turner,
(i remember my mom calling people fruitcakes when she was mad.)
make her sleep in her crib or have her in my bed until she's five,
she will be okay.
so yes, i have a lot to think about.
decisions about what i want to do,
what i want to buy,
how i imagine this is all going to go down.
but this is a reminder to myself:
it doesn't really matter,
all that small stuff (her name, my parenting style, her love for things i hate) won't break her.
because ronnie and i will always give her what she needs the most.
all our love.


Sunday, January 27, 2013

the name campaign

if anyone sees ronaldo out and about,
feel free to call our little one brette.
i have started this little campaign at home
and it seems to be working.
we still throw around other options,
but i mostly just talk about needing to figure out
brette's middle name.
hopefully, one day he will also refer to her as brette
and then i can claim victory.
(insert evil laugh)
also, notice i changed brett to brette?
i thought a lot about it
and i think since brett could be a boy or a girl,
i wanted to spell it so that if you've never met her,
-if its on a teacher's class list, her resume, online dating site -
the person reading it would automatically know she is a she.
adding an 'e' to the end does that.
i think it might save someone a lot of confusion,
and maybe an awkward first date,
in the future.

ps- people have been sending me so many name ideas.  i love it!  keep them coming because the middle name is up for grabs. (well, technically the first name is too, i guess... but not really)

Thursday, January 24, 2013

the ultrament

i didn't really get to say much about the ultrasound
because i was too busy announcing that a little girl
was on her way. 
but i just wanted to put it in writing that the ultrasound
is by far the best part of the pregnancy.
the. best.
it's amazing to get to look inside your little baby.
to see her heart and spine.
to watch her get the hiccups.
and then flip over again and again.
we measured her little legs,
and head
and bones
and brain.
right now she is about the size of a large banana
and weighs in at 10 oz.
the tech said that all her measurements were on track
and my original due date of the 12th is still right on.
she did say that she has long legs,
so i'm wondering if that predicts a tall little lady?
i'm hoping she's more like her 5'4 mamma.
but we'll see.
she's also weighing in 1 oz over the norm.
of course.
my child would have to watch her weight right away.
ronnie just thinks she got the "turner head"
and the extra oz. is in her ol' noggin.
(that's a really just his way of saying she might
 have a huge head like my dad and me)
but basically i just feel really excited,
and ready.
and i am jealous of everyone having ultrasounds.
i wish i got one every week.

ps - i have a video of the ultrasound i am working on downloading it to you tube, but it seems to be having difficulty so i'm not sure if i'll ever get to share it.  

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

coming out of the closet

is to get organized.
ronnie did not take my advice and get me closet organizers
for christmas, but we did purchase two last weekend.
the first one took all day to put in and only fit half my clothes
ronnie didn't have the motivation to finish the second one until today.
but the other organizer didn't fit because my second closet is too small.
of course.
so i'm stuck with my old school clothes bar that i hate,
but we did try to get in all my shoes in as best as possible.
i'm still having to switch out some things seasonally because i truly need a
walk-in closet and that just ain't happening in this house.

i started with this:
i did a lot of folding and i gave away
three trash bags full of clothes i don't wear anymore.
and ended up getting three closets into two.

i feel better about my "mess"
and now baby has a whole closet to herself.
which she will most likely need because my friend at work, angie
already bought her the cutest little outfit
and her dad brought home her first little pair of shoes.
i could just die.

so now that my closet is done,
i'm ready to start filling hers.
ronnie is really fighting a losing battle...

actually, ronnie is half the problem.

Friday, January 18, 2013

baby names

so turns out that girls names are harder for us than boys.
go figure.
i thought boys names were going to be harder because we didn't like as many.
but that ended up being a good thing, as we were already down to four options.
all of which i would have liked.

but girls?
our list started long and we were slowly making cuts,
but now that i KNOW i have to pick one,
i don't know if any of them are perfect.

our faves right now:
but alas, hunter has been cut.
not because i don't love it,
because i do,
but because my aunt and uncle pointed out
that Cox Hunter is not cool.
my poor girl.
i already feel bad for her and her last name.
its ruining everything.
so someone should name their little girl hunter because i love it
and because i'll never be able to use it.
school teachers: is savannah popular?  do you know 3 or 4 in your school?
other names we're considering:
ps- what's my favorite?  brett.
but i don't have ronnie on my side... yet.

Thursday, January 17, 2013

pink or blue?

pink or blue?
scratch that.
purple or blue,
you know i hate pink.
which i think is important to point out
it's a girl!
come meet her:

(20 weeks, 10oz) 

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

what not to do

jan 8th
let's see...
what should you not do during pregnancy?
do not buy a can of pringles. 
the saying is true: once you pop, you can't stop.
i think i could finish a can in one sitting.
do not read the birth story of a mom who had a baby with down syndrome.
you will be a mess.
you will not stop crying until the end.
and even then, it will be hard for you to pull it together.
do not try on clothes in the store.
its disappointing and frustrating.
nothing is cute and nothing fits correctly.
i found that just bringing it home and facing my misery there, is better.
do not ask your husband for reese's peanut butter cups.
he will buy you a king size and you will refuse to share.
it's not a pretty sight.
do not go online shopping.
your cart will end up having over $3000 worth of items.
(one of which being a new refrigerator, so i don't feel that bad)
then your husband will deny the purchases
and you will sit on the couch in fury
and blog instead.
just some tips.
i'm no expert.

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

update: week eighteen

jan 3rd

i'm eighteen weeks.

weight? i haven't weighed myself this week, but the last time i weighed myself i had gained 4 lbs. i'm still not wearing maternity clothes, but mostly because i don't have any and not because they wouldn't fit.  my friend, jana, brought me a whole bag of clothes for me to borrow and i'm excited to bust them out.  i plan to go shopping for some dress pants soon because i'm mostly wearing dresses and skirts rights now because they are the comfiest.

cravings?  i would still die for a large diet coke.  and sushi.  i've been eating some lunch meat after throwing it in the microwave so my need for a turkey sandwich is gone. and, i wasn't eating chocolate last time i checked in at 9 weeks, but that's a joke now.  i am definitely eating chocolate.  hope baby loves it.

side effects? honestly, i don't have many things going on right now.  i still have potty breaks every night but most times i am able to go back to sleep. lately, when people ask me how i feel i tell them i don't really feel pregnant except for my clothes getting tight, which is a bonus because i feel normal again.

baby?  baby is the size of a mango and is able to hear us now.  studies have shown that the song you sing to your kiddo in the womb is recognizable once they are born.  ronnie and i have been taking turns singing baby beluga - a song i learned in kindergarten that we sing to our puppies a lot.  also, if ronnie and i are fighting (which never happens) i try to yell at him in the sweetest voice ever.  its comical.

preparations? we still haven't done much.  we cut our baby names list down by about half, but we have no winners. we've bought some diapers, because marge suggested i start stock piling so that way we spread out the cost.  but that's about it.  i think its almost overwhelming all the things you could buy. and i've had a lot of people offer some of the things they don't use anymore, so i'm waiting to see what we can borrow before i go buy a lot of stuff. plus ronnie and i are still deciding if we will find out the gender so i also don't want to buy a lot in case i end up knowing and wanting to do something more specific for a girl or boy.

the best thing? my appetite has come in.  i wasn't really hungry until i hit week seventeen and now i feel like i could eat a horse.

the worst thing?  the fact that i feel like i could eat a horse.

so there it is. 

me at eighteen weeks.

Monday, January 14, 2013

what a let down

dec 19th
we finally told my family.

and nothing really went as planned.
first, my mom, dad, brian and jaime.
we hung our christmas stockings with a little tag
on our kiddo's stocking saying 'due in june'
they came in and the only one that understood was my brother,
but he waited for someone else to catch on.
my dad was even looking at them and asked how many people lived here.
(insert hand to the forehead)
finally, my brother called it out and everyone was excited,
(more shocked)
but the initial plan
did. not. work.

then came my extended family.
all my aunts, cousins and grandma
get together for christmas cookie day.
instead of doing the exchange idea i decided to tell through my cookies.
i ordered pink and blue onesie cookies from a local bakery.
when i went to pick them up, the lady had the date wrong
and didn't have them made.
no cookies.
so ronnie and i stayed up that night baking sub-par sugar cookies.
but it worked out.
every female in my family was in tears and full of hugs.
but the initial plan
did. not. work. 

last, i told my friends.
we met in warrensburg
to welcome a friend back to the states
and i sent them all a *picture text at the same time
and only one went through,
the rest either never made it or it took 5 minutes.
so they all got them at different times and there was some confusion.
when they all finally saw the text,
there was a mixed reaction.
i think it was too shocking.
shannon was probably the happiest i have ever seen.
she's been waiting years for this,
but the initial plan
did. not. work.

*this was the picture i sent them

wah wah.
but whatever, i'm just happy they know!
and everyone is loving baby cox.

now i just have to design a christmas card
to tell everyone else.

Saturday, January 12, 2013

the secret is out

dec 4th

the secret is not really out,
but there are a handful of people that now know.
basically, ronnie's family.
it just happened to fall that we had plans with his side of the family
the week that we could start telling people.
so his mom, dad, sister, brother-n-law, step brother, step mom,
niece and nephew all know.

it was fun to tell them.
i made little cards and had them open them.
ronnie's sister had the best reaction.
she screamed and hugged us both,
then later on cried because she was so happy.

it's exciting to tell people,
i've been looking forward to this for so long,
but it also makes me really anxious.
like i want to rush to the doctor
for another reassuring - yes, you are still pregnant!
i mean, yes, we've heard the heart beat,
but that was 3 weeks ago
and i don't get to go back for another 2 and a half weeks.
i guess now that people know,
i just want everything to stay okay.
we waited so long to tell anyone
and i would hate hate hate to have to go back and untell people.

that's why for now,
i am making everyone we tell swear to secrecy
one, so i get the joy of sharing our news.
but two, so i get to choose who knows,
just in case.

i'll feel much better after december 19th.
or maybe i won't feel really reassured until june 12th?

Friday, January 11, 2013

sharing the news

nov 18th

basically i just want to call people up and shout out the news.
but that is no fun.
so we're trying to schedule weekends with all of our families
in a short time period to get the news out fast.
unfortunately it's not going to be as fast as i would like.

dec. 1 - were going to st. louis with ronnie's sister
and her family to meet ronnie's mom and grandma
for his gma's 90th birthday.
we can share the news then.
i was thinking have them all open cards at the same time
that say "you're going to be an aunt!" (gma, cousin, etc.)

dec. 2 - we'll be in warrensburg to pick up puppies
from my parent's so we'll stop by ronnie's dad's
to tell him and kathy the news.
i'd like to keep the card thing up and give them one as well
letting them know they're going to be grandparents - again.

dec. 8th - my parent's are coming to lee's summit
to meet brian, jaime, ronnie and i for a little christmas day.
we shop, go out to dinner, ride around looking at christmas lights.
it's the perfect time to tell them, but i can't decide how.
at first i thought i could have them meet at my house and casually mention
my new christmas stockings to see if anyone notices there is an extra one.
but i doubt i can get brian, jaime and the girls to pack themselves up in a car,
drive 10 mins,
and then unpack themselves just to come inside.
so i don't know yet how i will tell them. 
hopefully i come up with something genius.

dec. 15th - my grandma, aunts, uncles and cousins are getting together
to celebrate christmas and have our cookie day.
we do a christmas gift exchange and i plan on cheating a bit.
i want my mom to hand out the numbers and make sure i get #1,
so i'll pick my own gift and it will be a onesie with a little due date.
i can't wait for their reaction.

telling my friends is still undecided. 
i know we're getting together for new year's eve
and i could do it that night,
but waiting another two weeks after so many people
know will be hard. but it's also right around christmas
 so it will be just as hard to get all
my girls together and i would really
prefer not to send it out through an email.
we shall see.
maybe i have the ability to last that long.
maybe not.

the girls in st. louis is easy. 
a christmas card is fun
and i'm not concerned about them finding out early
because they won't run into someone else
like the girls here could.

so there's the plan.
i wish it were here already!

Thursday, January 10, 2013

weeble wobble

nov 20th

i've been having some dizzy spells.
four of them to be exact,
but one major one.

ronnie had just left for work,
so i got up and was in the hallway bathroom
getting ready to get ready, if you will.
i got super dizzy and light headed.
my eyesight went blurry and dark.
i thought i was going to pass out.
instead of hitting the sink or door
on my way down, i thought
the floor was probably my best options.
so i dropped to my knees and
crawled back to my bedroom.
i grabbed a pillow off my bed and my cell phone
and laid on the floor and called ronnie.
he was not concerned.
said i probably needed to eat something.
cool.  and thanks.
so i laid there for 15 minutes and drank some water.
when i finally got up, i felt awful and i was so pale.
i am always pale, but i'm talking like being an extra on twilight pale.
it was not cute.
neither was my clammy face.

but after another 15 minutes
i felt fine.
when i read the app on my phone about this stage of pregnancy
it mentions having dizzy spells.
check and check.

oh and when i told the girls at work about this,
one of them thought i should take a pregnancy test.
she was sure that this was a sign i was pregnant.
if only they knew...

Wednesday, January 9, 2013


nov 14th

i feel like i had my first baby experience.
i know this kid has been making me sick that last several weeks,
but today we met.
and it wasn't through a ultrasound like i thought,
they're waiting until my january appointment for that,
but still,
today was great.

ronnie and i went to the doctors office and sat around a lot.
they weighed me
and then we sat some more.
finally the doctor came in.
she asked some general questions
and had me lie back.
just like in the movies,
she moved a little monitor over my stomach
and we listened.
she couldn't find anything.
i got super nervous.
she said that it's pretty normal at 10 weeks
to not hear a heartbeat,
but to me it felt like bad news. 
like i was setting myself up for really bad news.
i have had enough pregnant friends to know,
the sooner you hear the heartbeat,
the better.
so she kept searching and searching
and we finally found our little booger.
he/she was hidden all the way over on my right side.
but you can definitely tell when you find your little one because
their heartbeat sounds like a train.
fast and furious.
i could hear my heartbeat too,
slow and steady.
the difference is crazy,
ronnie was pretty stoic,
but as soon as the doctor left the room,
he was all smiles and cheers.
i think he wanted to seem manly.
hello, you made a baby.
we get it, you're a guy.

so today was pretty fabulous.
and its killing me that i can't call my mom and tell her,
i know she'd be so happy,
but we'll wait.
i feel like the next 6 months of my life will be a waiting game.

ready. go.

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

weekly update: 9

sorry - - I was supposed to post this yesterday and yesterday's post today.  so basically this is a little out of order...

nov 7th

a friend of mine
wrote little updates throughout her pregnancy
to keep us readers in the know.
so i thought i could do the same.

i'm nine weeks.

weight?  not gaining yet, but i do feel bigger, which sucks. i feel like people might be like: wow, brooke's getting to be a real porker.  dang it.

cravings?  i wouldn't say these are full on cravings, but if someone offered me a jimmy johns turkey sandwich, with a piece of chocolate cake and a diet coke, i would not turn it down.  so basically, i'm just wanting everything the dr. told me not to have. 

side effects? there are plenty.
1. i feel sick all the time.  like i might throw up.  like i might need to lay down, but i can't because people would stare. it's the worst.  this week, i'm back to working out and i seriously thinks it makes me feel better.  the one thing that makes me always gag?  brushing my teeth in the morning.  so weird.  and i don't get it, but i actually threw up one morning.  blach.
2. i pee somewhere between 2:30 and 4:00 every night.
3. the peeing is not bad, because i'm awake anyway.  i cannot sleep.  kill me now.
4. my boobs hurt.  it's like nothing i've ever felt. oh, and i'm pretty sure they're getting bigger.  which is not awesome, because i'm already a D and i can't imagine the massiveness once breastfeeding comes into play.  i am not looking forward to that. (the bigger boobs, not the breastfeeding)
5. i'm tired.  i even took two naps because even though i can't sleep at night, my body has no trouble sleeping at 6pm.  i'm pretty sure all of ronnie's predictions are coming true.  oh well.

baby?  baby is the size of a prune and has arms and legs.  doesn't that sound magical?  i think so. our little kiddo even developed teeth this week.  what a superstar.

preparations? we haven't done really anything yet.  discussed names here and there.  decided when we're going to tell our family and friends (early december) but nothing else has really been done.  i'm definitely waiting for a little heartbeat.  i will feel much better once the 14th rolls around and i have my sonogram.  ronnie's taking off work and we're going to get our first glimpse of the little one.  i hope the next week goes by fast.

the best thing? ronnie made me a homemade card before he left to work out of town for a couple days.  it was probably one of the sweetest things i've ever read and he even drew a picture of future pregnant me on the front.  i wanted to laugh and cry all at the same time.

the worst thing?  people not knowing.  there have been so many times that i've wanted to tell.  it's so freaking hard to keep this a secret.  and i know our family and friends are going to be so excited, which makes it even harder because i can't wait for their reactions.  i still have a whole month to wait.  ugh.

so there it is. 
me at nine weeks.

Monday, January 7, 2013

sleep tight

nov 12th

i was thought my nausea was over.
i went all weekend without really feeling
sick to my stomach,
until last night.
and then again today.
it's back.

not that i was feeling fabulous all weekend
because another issue has kicked in.
a little thing called lack of sleep.
which really isn't fair because the no sleeping thing
is suppose to happen after the baby is here.

i know i'm a picky sleeper.
i must have fan.
i have to wear either pants or capris,
even if its 104 degrees outside.
i cannot have any light.
and absolutely no noise besides said fan.

but even having met all my demands,
i am awake every night from about 2:30
until about 5:00.
it's killing me.
2:30 is normally when i need a potty break,
and then i don't know what happens,
but sleep ain't it.

i think instead of blogging i should be researching how to cure sleepless nights.

Saturday, January 5, 2013

beer me

oct 31st

i made it through a weekend of parties
with no drinking and no one catching on.
or at least i don't think they caught on.
it kind of sucked.
at one point i was feeling a little ill and tired,
but had to discuss the possibilities of playing a drinking game.
i kept going upstairs and refilling my "beer" bottle with water.
i drank a LOT of water.
but i did have fun and i'm glad i got to see all my homies.

then on saturday we had another party to go to
and i did not feel like pretending again
or staying up late again.
so we didn't.
i drank water out of glass and we were home by 10:00.
but i don't think anyone cared and just assumed i was not drinking so i could drive home.

fine by me.

ps - not drinking at a party is not fun.  i do not recommend it.

Friday, January 4, 2013

the gender debate

oct 30th

i have not made secret over the last 10 years
that if i had my way, i would have a boy.
in fact, i once told my dear friend, margie,
that i refused to get pregnant until i could accept
the fact and be happy to have a girl.

i am there. 
since before i got pregnant, just like i promised margie.

don't get me wrong,
i still love the idea of a boy.
after all,
a boy will never become what i fear the most:
a teenage girl.

but i have a reason to love the idea of having a girl.
my little girl will have built in best friends -
two beautiful cousins that are just the right age.
i can just see my little one and brian's girls playing together.
and i feel like a little boy might get left out.

so now, i'm torn. 

i guess that means i'll be happy with either.
just like i wanted.

Thursday, January 3, 2013

doctor appt #1

oct 29th

i went to the doctor.
i am 8 weeks pregnant.
officially due june 12th.
well, i guess not "officially" because they can tell more once i have a sonogram
and they don't do that until your second or third appointment.
right now they are just going off the date of my last period,
which i totally might be wrong.
it was my best guess based off my birth control.
my second appointment is not until november 14th.
that is when we might be able to see the little kiddo and hear the heartbeat.

so this appointment was
going over what i can and cannot do/eat/etc.
they also took four vials of blood and i felt like shit after.
but they did give me a book, two magazines, a cooler for milk, and lots of pamphlets.
looks like i have some reading to do.

all in all, it still left me anxious for more and
now i'm counting down the days to november 14th.
i just want to make sure everything is looking and sounding perfect.
and i'd like to meet my doctor.
she obviously wasn't my fave.
even though she'd probably be thrilled at my decision to have a kid,
she also stopped delivering and her partner will only deliver on the plaza.
i'm staying in lee's summit.
it will be easier on ronnie and my puppies when this kid comes.

and i'm all about making things easy.

Wednesday, January 2, 2013


oct 23th

we have a some festive events planned in the next few weeks
and i'm nervous that someone is going to catch on that i'm not drinking.
so i came up with this:

reasons i will tell my friends why i'm not drinking:
i'm on antibiotics.
i'm on a diet.

yep, that's all i got.
this might be hard.

but then i remembered when fanger was prego,
we were at a bar drinking before a wedding reception
and she had jake, her husband, drink a beer
and then secretly had the bartender refill it with water
and give it to her.

we're having a halloween party at our house in a week.
ronnie is saving his beer bottles and we are going to refill them with water.
that will be my designated six pack.
in order for this to work,
no one can offer me a drink.
no one can try to drink my drink.
and no one can find my already-opened-six-pack.

hopefully, this works.
and hopefully, my friends (kassie) won't try to force shots on me.