i have not made secret over the last 10 years
that if i had my way, i would have a boy.
in fact, i once told my dear friend, margie,
that i refused to get pregnant until i could accept
the fact and be happy to have a girl.
i am there.
since before i got pregnant, just like i promised margie.
don't get me wrong,
i still love the idea of a boy.
a boy will never become what i fear the most:
a teenage girl.
but i have a reason to love the idea of having a girl.
my little girl will have built in best friends -
two beautiful cousins that are just the right age.
i can just see my little one and brian's girls playing together.
and i feel like a little boy might get left out.
so now, i'm torn.
i guess that means i'll be happy with either.
just like i wanted.