Saturday, March 4, 2017

the craigslist killer

when we bought our new washer and dryer,
i told ronnie to hold on to our dryer and i would sell it online.
he wanted to let the guys that dropped off our new stuff
take our old stuff, but i only let them take our broken washer.
i figured i could get a little bit of money out of a perfectly
fine dryer, albeit old, dryer.
so a month later, ronnie started bitching about the dryer
that was STILL in the garage and in his way...
the one i never actually posted online.
so i put it up last week on craigslist and asked for $75.
ronnie said take whatever for it as long
as they come and get it.
i had a person ask what year it was...
and then never texted me back.
i had another person ask if i would take $50
for it, which i said yes and they were set to pick
it up that night.
they never showed.
i reposted it this week and had someone respond the next evening.
they wanted to come get it right now.
ronnie wasn't home, but i knew he wanted it
gone as soon as possible, so i agreed they could
go ahead and come since i was there.
they lived about 45 minutes away.
an hour later, long after the sun had set,
they pulled in my driveway.
reid was in bed upstairs and i told brette to stay
put inside the house.
when i went outside there was an old, small suv.
a lady and her husband got out.
she spoke broken english and her husband didn't speak
english at all... only russian.
they are talking back and forth, but i couldn't understand anything
and she just keeps asking me if the dryer works.
umm, yes.
then they pop the back hatch of their car and i swear to god,
this is what is laying out:
2 hammers
a pair of black leather gloves and
a tool belt.
i'm already a little bit nervous about having people come
to my house at night when i'm home alone with the kids and
then this is what they have in their car??!
are you f-ing kidding me?
my thoughts are this - do not let them attack me with a hammer.
that's like, the worst way to die.
no thank you.
so i think i should get to it first and
take away their weapons.
i grabbed both hammer and the tool belt, and say
i'll move this stuff to make room.
i'm pretty sure the guy was thinking,
"this crazy bat is touching my tools!"
i know he wasn't happy about it because some
of the stuff dropped out of this belt, but whatever,
look who's in charge now.
they put the dryer in the suv and then i put his tools in
the back seat and he gives me EIGHTY dollars.
more than asking price.
it was confusing and a little scary and i'm
pretty sure i sidestepped being murdered,
but i did make $80 so....
ps- ronnie laughed when i called and told him.
he has no concern for my safety.  dick.
but really, that will be the last time i sell something when
i'm home alone.  i get a little jumpy.
pss- we had just got done watching the OJ documentary and
i'm pretty sure bloody gloves were still on my mind.

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