Thursday, May 12, 2016

lion or lamb?


so brette is a little lamb.
or is she a lion?
i think she's both.
i'm mean, sure she's super sweet full of hugs and kisses and giggles.
but there is also a temper brewing.
and a mouth.
oh her mouth.
she's just keeps talking.
i feel like when trying to deal with her behavior
consistency is key,
but i can't make up my mind on how to deal
with her so i keep trying new things,
which is probably more confusing for her.
i go back and forth between time out and
positive parenting.
jaime let me borrow a book a few years ago about
positive parenting which i know had a lot of good ideas,
but at the time, i had a sweet little baby.
i read it, but i didn't USE it.
she didn't talk back, not listen or hit.
now that these are the things we're dealing with
i try to go back and use the methods suggested.
but there are things that i believe in that i would like
to instill in her too.
learn to be empathetic AND say you're sorry.
learn better listening skills and how to follow directions.
i know she's young, but
these are the things i'm working toward.
i know to get down on her level.
i let her know i understand the way she's feeling.
i talk to her about how to deal with it.
i know to give her two options so she feels like
she has the power and independence to make her own choices.
and i know to give her lots of love.
but  s o m e t i m e s  i feel like this doesn't work.
she's not listening - she doesn't want to talk it out.
i feel like maybe if i just hold her and
love on her she will calm down enough so we can talk,
but there have been times that she doesn't want to be held.
and then i will pull her out of the situation to breathe.
to collect ourselves.
a little time out, if you will.
but this always makes her start crying.
so now instead of mad, she's upset.
but she didn't want held and she's didn't want to talk,
 so what's left???
we've actually started something new.
hit a pillow if she's mad.
snuggle her favorite stuffed animal if she's upset.
but then this morning she said,
i think i need to hit my puppy dogs.
oh geez.
i am always second guessing myself.
no one want to have "that kid."
she needs boundaries, but what is 
appropriate for a two/three year old?
its hard.  
feel free to send suggestions of what worked
or didn't work for you.
it takes a village.


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