Wednesday, June 11, 2014

on the eve of a year

i just laid brette down for bed and i was thinking about
what we were doing last year on this night.

and now 
she will be my one year old tomorrow.
our little brette annaleigh.
so crazy.
it went very fast.
and i'm a little nervous that all the years will fly by like this
and all of a sudden she'll be grown.
collectively, us mammas need to invent some sort of
slow-down-time machine.
am i right?
or at least make it to where we have the best memory
in the world and can recall every small moment with our kid.
when brette was four months old
i went to st. louis to visit marge and she said that she
couldn't remember what the milestones were
for a four month old.
i remember thinking that was kind of sad,
that we forget the stages of our kids.
and now, here i sit reminiscing about our year
and i can't remember what brette was like at every month.
in fact, if i was handed a newborn tomorrow,
i would probably be just as scared.
oh sure, i feel more confident in
my skills today than i did a year ago,
but still, a lot of this year was
trial and error and guessing my way through.
which i'm assuming is mostly what everyone does.
that, and call their parents for advice.
thank god for all of my helpers.
seriously, thank you.
ronnie and i survived and brette thrived,
better than i could have hoped.
when ronaldo and i were walking into the hospital
last year at exactly this time, i was scared.
[mostly about the birth, but i'm sure i was also
thinking about raising a kid forever and ever, amen.]
luckily, this little life-changing, perfect piece of forever
was the best thing we ever did.
our little brette annaleigh.



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